Changes

Isn't it funny how much we resist change?   As Tolstoy put it "Everyone thinks of changing the world but no one thinks of changing himself."  How true is this?  When really we should approach life more like Gandi ;"Be the change you want to see in the world".   Sometimes we long for change other times we resist.
   We have been undergoing some changes in the Billingsley household. Did I ask for change?  Was I discontented with my life?  Not at all, actually I had been very pleased with the way things have been going for us.  Rob enjoys his job.  I have loved teaching at the kid's school, our children were thriving there.  We were starting a church plant with a group of our friends.  We were happy.  We were content.  But I think sometimes, contentment can be our biggest enemy.
   God put the ideas of discipleship and mentoring on my heart for sometime.  I thought I was being called to disciple.  I was still surprised when we were approached out of the blue by someone willing to mentor us.  Someone called to disciple both of us.  Someone in an inner city church in the heart of area full of discontented people. 
  And this is when it began, our new  journey.  We are no longer content.  We want more.  More of Jesus.  More scripture.  More prayer.  More service.  More justice.  More love.  More of His promises.  More of His miracles.  More of Him.  Less of us. 
And this when the journey began.  April 2013.....the journey for more.

It starts with love

Having small children makes it often difficult to take on service projects.  But Rob and I feel it is important to teach our children to serve now while they are still young.  We have struggled with the balance of keeping our children safe versus exposing them to a world in need.
  I truly believe that serving others is a skill that needs to be taught.  We live in a very self centered world, it is in our nature to be selfish.  The whole concept of serving is really a foreign concept by the world's standards.  But when I look at my Jesus and how he spent his time here on earth, I can't help but be convicted to want to help others.  The King of Kings humbled himself to come to be with us and to wash the feet of others, to heal the sick, to develop relationships with the poor and the troubled.  So how can I model that in my own life?  Especially when I have three children that I am responsible for?
   As of late, I feel that God is teaching me to just love these people.  I feel like he wants us to be in relationship with people in need.  So in order to do that, I have to spend time with those needing help and needing Christ.
    So Rob and I were excited to find a program that our church is running on Monday nights.  In the place of  our VBS for the children at our church, we have joined NACC (another church)in holding a special VBS in a low income area serving sometimes more than 300 people that need to know Jesus. I will admit, at first I was a little bummed that we no longer held the grandest of all VBS programs.  But after spending one evening with these kids, my heart was changed.
    Each Monday, we serve food to the families. We have a time of worship, we play games with these kids, we make crafts, we tell Bible stories, and we spend time getting to know them.  Our family enjoys taking a group around to each of the centers, this allows us to spend time with these kids- developing relationships.
   Last week on our way home, Caden says " Mom, we did not do anything to help those kids.  I wanted to help them."   I explained to him that we did, we fed them a meal that otherwise they may not have had,  we taught them songs and stories that planted a seed of Jesus's love, and most of all we gave them our time.  We met them where they are personally, putting us in a situation to get to to know them first, so that we may know how to help them in the future.
    My sweet Maddie simply said "We did help them Caden.  We gave them our love." 
   That really struck a chord with me.  That is all Jesus wants of us, isn't it?  He just wants us to love others.  Plain and simple. 
   Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the details of service opportunities. I over think the whole process and make it so complicated. Then, I end up making excuses for me and my children.  I let Satan use fear, worry, and everyday distractions to keep me from stepping out of my comfort zone to put my family in the lives of others needing to know him.
  My hope is that I can remember to keep it simple.  All He wants me to do is to LOVE OTHERS. It is not a twelve step program.  What he wants me to teach my children about service, is to love others. That love may require us to make some sacrifices and that love may spur us on to meet another needs.  But I can't love others by simply writing a check to my church each Sunday. I can't teach my children to love others if I am not modeling it myself or putting them in situations to do it on their own. 
   So we found a good way to do this each Monday night this summer.  My prayer is that this will encourage us to look for opportunities to help people wherever God leads us every day.  May we remember that often the best thing we can do for others is to simply love them.

Waiting in Expectation

We have been in a terrible drought this summer.  It has only rained twice since the kids got out of school.   I wanted the kids to understand our need for rain and how much we truly rely on God.  So we went for an early morning walk.  I took the kids out by the barn to show them how the ground is cracking and the withered grass is disappearing quickly.
   Then we walked over to our nice green garden and looked at all of the vegetables growing and the lush grass growing around the garden's perimeter and compared the two.  The kids did not understand why we did not water all of our land the way we watered our garden.  So we had a short lesson on water supply and the importance of water conservation.
  Their conclusion; we need to pray for rain and we need to do it right now.  Kinley suggested going to get Mimi to pray with us.  I love the fact that Kinley knows she has a mighty prayer warrior next door who is willing to pray with us at any moment.  Of course, she was and she dropped what she was doing simply saying "where two or more are gathered..."
   We circled up holding hands in Mimi's living room and pleaded with God for rain.  Well, I pleaded for rain.  Here was Caden's prayer.
Dear God,
  Thank you for our food.  Thank you for the rain.  Thank you for our family.  Thank you watering our grass.  Thank you for Jesus.
Amen
    I was struck by the fact that he thanked God for the rain as if it had already happened.  That simple child like faith.   So many times I get caught up in the wordings of my own prayers.  As if I string the words together in a secret churchy, holy-sounding formula, I will be heard. Or often I beat around the bush with God in my prayers, afraid to be too bold in asking what I truly want .  Or sometimes my prayers may sound more like a grocery list of all the things I am needing that day.  Caden's prayer reminded me that I need to share more of my thanksgivings and less of what I think I need. That is one of the reasons why I love to hear my children pray, they are always teaching me.
   For the rest of the day, my children waited in expectation.  Waiting for God to answer that prayer.  Sure that God was answering that prayer. After lunch, I asked them if they wanted to go swimming.  Their reply "Mom, it is about to rain.  Are you sure we should go swimming?  We would rather wait and play in the rain."
  I did not have the heart to tell them that the skies were sunny blue and that the weather man said there was less than a 20% chance of rain.  So we played a game inside instead.  All day they kept going outside, looking to the sky, waiting for an answer.  Reminded me of another day, of watching my kids wait for rain.

    Finally, at bedtime, Kinley says to me " Mom, I can't believe it did not rain all day today. Let's pray about it again tonight. " And again she shared a sweet prayer to God about providing the rain we needed so badly.  I reassured her that we could try again tomorrow and that sometimes we have to wait on God for His timing. 

  Just after midnight, I nearly jumped out of bed as we had three very excited children run into our room calling:

"It's raining!  God answered our prayer!"

   And He answered it in a big way. The wind was howling, it was thundering and lightening something awful and we could hear the down pour of rain hitting our tin roof.  It was the loudest storm, we have had all year.  God was showing us his faithfulness one more time.  We were blessed with over an inch of rain that night.  Needless to say, it took us awhile to get the kids to go back to sleep that night because of they were excited.

   And honestly they should be.  They just learned an important lesson.. I am heard.  We all are.  We are heard and loved by a God, bigger and greater than anything in this world.  And He is just waiting to bless us.  Just as the kids were looking to the sky that day, looking for an answer, waiting in expectation.  He is waiting to hear from us. Waiting to bless us. He is waiting in expectation.

  

Eyes of Jesus

So today was an eye opening experience.  Rob has befriended a sixteen year old boy that goes to Anderson High School.  His story will break your heart.  He has a cleft pallet, a pace maker, and a mother with severe diabetes.  His mother has already had a leg amputated and is on dialysis three times a week.  They are not sure how long she will make it in this condition.  All of this combined with a speech impediment has caused this teen to be extremely shy. This family is barely surviving on her disability check.  Rob just helped them to get running water in their trailer.
  Some people at church gathered clothes for this sweet young man.  Since the kids have heard their daddy talk about his new friend, they wanted to go with him to deliver the clothes. We thought this would be  a good opportunity for them to see how blessed we truly are and to see us in service to others.  On our way, I was praying about the kids reaction to this family's living conditions. They are the age that they say whatever comes to mind- good or bad. I struggled with the idea of telling them what to say (or what not to say) but decided to just go with it and hope for the best.  I have found the more I intervene the less I rely on the Spirit.
  As we got out of the car, we were greeted by 6 chihuahua dogs and we could see a pit bull tied to the trailer.  There were piles of trash everywhere, the trailer has boarded up windows, and the door was wide open.  Inside, the floors were rotting out and the house smelled horrible.  I noticed in one corner of the house the lady had a a few statues of birds and some stuffed animals. Other than that, the house was a complete disaster.
   We visited with the family for a bit.  The mother loved the kids immediately, and seemed to hit it off with Caden.  The kids were very sweet and seemed to enjoy talking with the family.  As we got in the car, Maddie was  thinking of ways to help this family.  She wanted to get them a new house.  You could tell that she was really concerned for their well being.
   Sweet Kinley's only comment.  "I really liked the pretty statues in their living room."
  Not one word about the piles of trash or the horrific smell.  If you know Kinley, you know that she has the nose of a hound dog and gags at the slightest stench. But it was as if she did not even see or smell any of that.  She was focused  on what seemed special to this family.  She only saw the good.  A child like faith.
Immediately I was reminded of this scripture:
  " I tell you the truth," Jesus said "unless you change and become like them little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
  Webster defines Humility or humbleness as the quality of being courteously respectful of others.  The absence of arrogance, boast fullness, and pride. 
  There it was in front of me.  Child like humility pure and simple.  And once again my children ministered to me in a way no one else could, loving people for who they are and seeing them through the eyes of Jesus. 
  

My Inheritance

Children are an inheritance from the LORD. They are a reward from him.  Psalms 127:3

    God put it on my heart to lead a bible study this summer. So I bit the bullet and  emailed a few of my close friends wanting to start a study through Good Morning Girls.  All  five of my friends were feeling the same need to dig deep into God's word , so we committed to start the next week, within days we had a group of 18 ladies!  It has been awesome to see how God has orchestrated our group. This study uses daily scripture reading combined with Sally Clarkson's book The Ministry of Motherhood. 

    One of our first scriptures of study was Psalms 127:3.  I love this verse, I have heard it many times, I have it plastered in my children's scrapbooks and committed it to memory for difficult days as a mommy.  However, this time the word inheritance really jumped out at me. 
     As you know, last year Rob's granddaddy passed away.  His sweet Mimi planned out what to give each child or grandchild to remember this great man.  Rob's Uncle Terry, an avid sports fan, got his high school letter jacket.  Rob's other uncle, a writer, received Granddaddy's writing desk.  Rob's bother, who has a large collection of watches, was given his watch.  Each gift fit the receipt perfectly and represented a part of their own character, interest, or personality.
   I could not help but picture God picking out the perfect inheritance for me and Rob.  Knowing that our three children each contained personality traits that would bind us together, or spur us on in our own relationship with him. 
   God knew Rob needed someone to share his love of music, so he gave us sweet Maddie.  I love to see the two of them absorbed in a song.  Maybe God picked us as her parents to nurture that love so that she could write praise music for Him. 
   God chose us to enjoy the sweet loving spirit of Kinley.  He knew that we could help guide her big heart to love the way He loves and to protect her gentle spirit from the world. 
  God gave us Caden, to spark our imaginations and fill our home with laughter.  There have been many days that I have been frustrated or tired and yet his contagious laugh has encouraged my spirit. 
   Of course there are many more wonderful qualities that Rob and I like to think come from us!  However, there are also traits that are instilled in them that are unlike our personalities.  I have to remind myself that God made them different for a purpose and try not to reshape them into a mini Rob or Kristi. 
    Or there are times those traits are a little less enduring. Like the day Caden insisted on wearing his monkey costume to school all day last August. (Hence the photo at the top.)  I gave in, let him wear it, he survived and gave people a good laugh for the day. 
    All three of our kids are pretty strong willed and determined but I know God put those traits there too.  With his guidance we can cultivate those qualities to glorify His kingdom. I pray that I will remember this too and not try to reshape them to be the way I want them to be but the way God designed them to be.
     So this is my prayer. 
Lord,
Help me to treasure my gifts, my inheritance.  Help me to not get bogged down in the loads of laundry or the piles of dishes.  Encourage me to focus on my three little blessings from you.  Help us to grow them and nurture them into what you want them to be.  Remind me  in the difficult times that you knit these children in my womb with a plan far greater than my own.  Thank you Lord for choosing me to be their mom. 
In Your name,
Amen

 

Inspiration

I know you are shocked!  I am actually going to attempt to blog again.  We live such busy lives that I've found it hard to write down a recap of all of daily activities. And in all honesty, they were not that exciting.  Lots of fun memories but nothing life transforming.  I think it is neat to use your blog as a digital scrapbook but it has honestly not been motivating enough for me to sit down in front of a computer. So, I am going to try a different approach.  If I am going to take the time to do this, I want it to mean something really special to those taking the time to read it especially my three little munchkins one day.

God has really laid it on my heart to disciple my children.  Not just be the maid, chauffeur, teacher, cook, nurse or whatever role that day. Although those are all important parts of my ministry, I want to take these mundane and ordinary tasks and turn them into teachable moments for spiritual/ character training. I really want to follow Christ example in reaching the hearts of my children.  I want to stretch beyond the ordinary in loving, leading, and training three of my favorite people in this world.  I want my time with them to be meaningful, a time to disciple them to be passionate, devoted servants for Christ. 

So as I am trying to create more purpose in my role as mom.  I taking a new approach in my ministry as mom.  I have been inspired to reach beyond the ordinary.  I thought it might be a good time to pull up the ole' blog and giving it a little transformation too. Hoping it will hold me accountable with my plan of action or help my sweet three musketeers at least know that I tried.....

More to come....

Disco Family

I know it has been way too long since I posted on my blog.  So long that our family has completely changed our look.

Rob grew his hair out.

Maddie is now a blonde.

Kinley wears glasses now.

                                                           And we got a pet disco monkey.

I will try to do better at blogging but it is hard when you live with this crazy bunch...